Paradise on Earth

I smiled at the Tulsi plant set to the right of the entrance door.  I never looked at it directly during my childhood. I was afraid that a snake would be curled around it.  Today, I touched its four corners and bowed down in reverence.  


And instantly felt closer to my grandparents.  


I was blessed to be visiting their home - Gokulam.   The house is sold, (thankfully to some wonderful people), but to my entire family, Gokulam will always be our very own Paradise on Earth.    


I touched the entrance gate of Gokulam before stepping into the pathway that led to the foyer.  Even as I was walking towards the house, I could sense my grandparents looking at me from above, blessing me and loving me the way only they could.   I immediately felt lighthearted and calm.  


Entering the foyer, my eyes sought the nameplate of my grandfather; B. Gopalan - it said in big, blue capitalized letters.   I caressed it several times, tears welling in my eyes, wishing that I could caress his cheeks just one more time.   Looking down, I saw a lopsided, dirty mat, which, according to my mother, was apparently the same mat on which our entire family have wiped their legs. I was seized by a compulsion to touch it too.  Smiling, I unlocked the door, my hands shaking in excitement, and placed one foot ahead of another into the house.   


Only to be immediately bombarded by memories of some of the happiest times in my life. 


I could literally see the twinkle in my granddad's eyes whenever he caught me sneaking some cards away during his favorite game of Solitaire.  I could see my sheepish grin and hear his infectious laughter.  I could see his mouth curving with satisfaction as his little granddaughter continuously and remorselessly tapped his bald head.  I could sense him sitting next to me and hugging me as we watched cricket in the hall or living room.     I could hear my grandmom's ceaseless rat-tat-tat (of her heels) as she bustled about like a busy bee, taking care of everything in the house, with nary a complaint.  I could hear my grandparents bickering, followed by hushed whispers between granddad and me.  I could see my grandma give him a stern expression as he smothered a giggle.  I could hear her sigh, shake her head, and simply ignore her annoying man.  (I can also see my grandparents holding hands for pictures - THAT, my friends, was true love :D)


I entered the former 'Prayer room' and payed by respects with my mother.  I touched walls, opened windows, slept on the ground.  I entered the room wherein flourished my realization of first love!!!!  I looked at the empty spot where my granddad's picture used to hang.  I could sketch his every contour in my head.    Everywhere was the fragrance of laughter, love and warmth of my uncles, aunties and cousins.  It felt ethereal.


Then I went upstairs, where the current home owner's family resides.   My feet dragged itself throughout the house. My favorite moment came when I stepped onto the balcony: I spread my hands wide, tipped my head to the sky, and swayed in the wind.  I reconnected with freedom and happiness.  My hosts offered me a chair.  I politely declined, wanting to physically connect with the floor of the house. Listening to the voices around me, I felt completely at peace, a first in an eon, and wished the moment would never end.  


But reality encroached too soon, and after bidding goodbye, I walked down the stairs, my heart heavy with the poignant memories of those golden days.   Tears threatened to take me over again, and my mom and I were ruefully shaking our heads for not bringing the camera.  Stepping out, I sat on one of the two parapet walls connected to the front of the house.   


I laughed quietly, thinking about the number of hours we kids used to spend outside - chatting, playing, teasing, fighting!!!!  I walked around the home, looking above at coconut trees, recollecting my mother's naughty tales about her childhood.   My heaviness vanished, and I chided myself for mourning about the lack of a camera.  I didn't need a camera.  You can delete pictures from a camera; but the pictures and images of my days with my relatives at Gokulam will be entrenched in my soul for posterity.  


I give my grandparents complete credit for imbuing their home with divine purity and unconditional love, making Gokulam a unanimous favorite among all of us.   They had seven children.  Each one of them a gem.  Each one of them still completely devoted to their parents.   Their positive influence, teachings and ideals have blessed us all our lives. And if I ever have children, I hope GOD will give me the heart to raise them the way my grandparents raised their entire family.  


As I walked back towards the gate, guarding the house from the external world, I turned around to look at Gokulam.    Though the empty house was devoid of any furniture, it will never be devoid of my grandparents' presence.  I could still sense the soul of my grandparents in every nook, corner and pore.  Gokulam will always remain their home.  And, we, their children.  


Today, our family is scattered across continents, but we are still bound by the very love that my grandparents inculcated in each one of us.   I know my grandparents will always watch over and protect us. I am deeply blessed to be a recipient of their affection and adoration.    I just hope I never let them down.  


Love you, Thathu and Patti, forever and ever and ever.  So what if you are no longer physically present?  So what if you no longer physically 'reside' in Gokulam?  For as long as your blessings empower us from above, the world shall be our paradise.  


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