“930 traffic deaths each year,” screamed a warning sign on
the highway. Rolling my eyes and shaking
my head, I wondered why anyone would post such a negative statistic on a major
freeway. I doubt anyone wants to be
reminded of their mortality while driving!
I cursed that sign, then put it out of my mind and drove home
nonchalantly.
Six hours later, I read that a gang-rape and assault victim
in my country – India
– died due to internal and external injuries.
This news squeezed my heart, triggering some dormant emotion and filling
my eyes with tears. I felt
vulnerable. I felt lonely. My mind drifted….I could picture the entire
incident as clearly as if it occurred in front of me.
I saw those animals
grab this woman, drag her along the floor of the bus, rip her clothes apart,
take turns to rape her, slap her around, hit her and finally throw her out of
the vehicle like she is trash. I could
see myself standing on the side of the road, my mouth agape and my body numb,
like I was electrocuted. Her screams
pierce my soul and every nerve in my body wants to help her. But common-sense – or in this case, my
self-preservation sense – persists and I run away, sure that my involvement
will only prove detrimental to me. I try
to rationalize my decision by thinking that that poor soul couldn’t have been
helped anyway. Hence, it was better to
be prudent than try to be heroic. It was
better for one person to suffer instead of two.
As I am writing this, I feel ashamed of my cowardice. Have I actually turned into the kind of
person who will selfishly refuse to help a poor soul for the fear that this
would hurt ME? If so, I am no better a
human than those animals who hurt her.
In some ways, I am worse. I am
hypocritical. I pretend to care, but
refuse to help when someone is really in need.
For most of us, crime is just a statistic. While we sympathize with and pity victims and
their families immediately after the crime, it doesn't take too long for us to
quietly put them out of our mind. Why
spend more time thinking about someone else’s plight, right? As long as we are safe, crime is not REAL to
us. Death is NOT real to us. Our feeling of invincibility often renders
us insensitive and uncaring. We refuse to see the faces beyond these
statistics. We conveniently forget that
another HUMAN BEING is suffering. It is
more comforting for us to block them out and merely focus on an intangible and
lifeless ‘number’.
My nonchalance about the sign on the highway stemmed from my
self-righteousness. I never stopped to
think that those fatalities involved real flesh-and-blood people whose life was
snatched away due to a momentary weakness or bad decision. On the contrary, I was just annoyed that
someone would remind me of the perils of driving. I didn't think that the board was actually meant
to encourage safe driving. I didn't think that the board was trying to HELP me and others on the road. I was merely irritated about being reminded
of those departed souls whose lives and the lives of their loved ones changed
(for the worse) in a matter of seconds.
When did I become this unfeeling and callous? When did I start thinking so highly of myself
that I stopped empathizing with others?
This entire episode was a cruel awakening for me, for I realized that
beneath my gentle facade lies a selfish monster. I feel extremely embarrassed for having
turned so insensate.
Is it too late to
reawaken my ‘good’ side? I hope
not. Maybe I can work hard to become
more understanding of others. Maybe it
is not too late to start seeing the good side of others. Maybe it is not too late to start connecting
with people emotionally. Maybe my New
Year’s Resolution(s) should be: to be kind and forgiving of others, to have the
heart to help those in need, to
appreciate the virtues of others and work to minimize my vices.
Maybe I can start by apologizing to that highway sign.
